Sham, Drudgery and Broken Dreams

Through the majority of the crises in my life, Max Ehrman has been there for me. I've never met him, don't know anything about him, but I frequently thank the stars that he existed, because he wrote a poem that has helped me through some of my absolute worst experiences.

The poem I'm talking about is called The Desiderata. If you've seen any of my scrapbook pages, read any of my journals, or just generally walked through my house, you've probably seen this:

"You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Those five lines have gotten me through more catastrophes than anything or anyone in the world. Just having the simple reminder that someone is looking out for me - that there is something BIGGER than me - is enough to put my heart at ease.

I'm having a rough couple of days.. feels like the roof just came crashing down. I had to sit down and ask why this was happening - so many random things that have nothing to do with each other all happening at the same time. I couldn't come up with a reason.

So I turned to Max Ehrman. I absolutely have a right to be here. The universe is unfolding exactly as it should, and while I have the luxury of free will, I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, and change is a good thing.

I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Gracious Living

There are many days that I wish I had been born about 40 years earlier. Today is one of those days...

I loved being a teenager in the 90's. We invented an entirely new way of going about life, or so I believed (ok, still do..). In the 50's, you wouldn't dream of stepping out of the house without your hat and gloves and eight pounds of makeup. The 60's were different - torn jeans and beads, right? But you still had to work at it. The 70's gave us disco. I don't know about you, but there is nothing in the world that could have greased me up enough to make it into those polyester outfits. In the 80's we spent 3 hours on our hair every morning - the bigger the better.

But the 90's - thank you, Kurt Cobain, for giving us grunge. I was born for this "movement," if it can be called that.

Jump out of bed five minutes before you have to be someplace. Throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of comfy (read: worn & torn) jeans. Presentable? Of course.

Loved it - loved almost every minute of being a teenager in the 90's. BUT - now that I'm a mother of the 00's, I'm wishing I was a mother in the 50's.

Does that make any sense? Cause I'm tired.. so if I'm not making sense, that's probably why.

Seriously, though. We stayed home with our kids, took care of our husbands, and volunteered at the nursing home when we could. Sundays were for church - period - no work, no anything except dinner.

It really and truly was a more gracious way of life.. men holding doors open for women, bridge club, moms actually had time to be members of the PTA. I'd even wear makeup (ok, maybe).

Just feeling sad for an era that seems to be no more.