Holy Mother, Pray for Me

I have a sickness. Seriously.

We have this table here at my work in the community center where people put stuff they don't want. It's kind of like a free garage sale. As a matter of fact, people frequently bring things they don't sell in their garage sales and put it on this table. The principal is kind of a one-man's-trash thing, and it operates on a karmic level - you take something, you put something in. Every once in awhile I'll bring in some baby stuff, or clean out my scrap stash or something and toss it down there, and every once in awhile I find something cool. One time, someone put about $60 worth of brand-spanking-new-never-been-used stencils on the table. So hey - if ya ever need any stencils, I'm your man.

So this morning, I'm sitting here scrapbooking, and my security guard comes in to relieve me for a bit. I wander on down to the free table, not really anticipating there being anything that I cough*need*cough because I was just by there yesterday.

I come back to the office with this dumb little cardboard trinket box, a powder puff box, a wooden door-hanger thingie, a wooden trinket box, a glass jar and A FREAKING SUITCASE.

Wanna know what my brain is telling me to do with all these things? My brain is saying, "STUPID! YOU WENT OUT AND BOUGHT ALL THIS PAPER THAT YOU'LL NEVER EVER USE! NOW ALTER SOMETHING!"

Now I gotta alter all this stuff. Except the suitcase. It's missing a zipper pull thingie - operates ok, just hard to grasp - and all my scrap stuff fits in it. And it rolls.

My security guard looked over my haul, rolled his eyes, and said, "I feel so sorry for Mike."

Then he left. As he was walking down the hallway, I was yelling, "SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR COMING IN HERE AND GIVING ME A BREAK! IF YOU HADN'T DONE THAT, I'D STILL ONLY HAVE THE CRAP I CAME IN HERE WITH.. NOW I GOTTA HAUL A BUNCH OF IT HOME!"

I hear him chuckle and say, "Ya just gotta blame someone, don't you?"

Movie Review

So by now you know that I'm not a fan of sappy movies. I'll grant you, there are a couple out there that I enjoy (Driving Miss Daisey - yep, it's one of my faves), but for the most part, I'd rather be laughing or adventure-ing.

For this reason, I'm not a huge Disney fan. There are quite a few that I like - The Lion King, Anastasia, Lilo & Stitch - but I like them for their awesome supporting characters (Rafiki, Bartok, Pleakley), and not necessarily their storylines.

I *am* however a HUGE muppets fan. I love Jim Henson more than you could ever imagine - the man was a comic genius. My all-time favorite is "Muppets from Space" - you just can't beat a plotline like this (copied from imdb.com):

"After Gonzo receives messages from his breakfast cereal, he determines that he is an alien and tries to contact his alien brethren, but is captured by an overzealous secret government agency determined to prove the existence of extraterrestrial life. It's up to Kermit and the gang to rescue Gonzo and help reunite him with his long-lost family."

So, if you haven't seen this movie, you should. It's hysterical. It's totally appropriate for children, but has some adult-geared-humor wrapped up in there, too. Miss Piggy breaks out the kung-fu, Gonzo meets his alien relatives and a talking sandwich, Animal (briefly) finds himself a girlfriend (Kathy Griffin, of all people), The Electric Mayhem plays a bar-mitzvah, and Pepe becomes a KING PRAWN.

It's awesome.

This Week...

- We spent part of an afternoon "de-frosting" the cat after Zion shared his frosted sugar cookie with him.

- We spent part of an afternoon "de-juicing" the dog after Zion shared his canned fruit with her.

- We spent part of an afternoon trying to get the Febreeze smell out of the couch after Zion helped Mommy clean (and hey, I like Febreeze just as much as the next person, but it smells like hairspray after awhile).

- We spent part of an afternoon cleaning up poop because Mommy let Zion run around naked for 20 minutes.

- We spent an evening "helping" Miss Lisa rearrange the KS Scrapbooker's Dream (I'm sure she was VERY appreciative).

- We ate nothing healthy the entire week cause Mommy was just too tired.

Granted, no one said raising a toddler was an easy task.

Blog Challenge

If I won the lottery...

Ok, first of all, there's this house I've wanted since I was a little girl. It's on Little Blue Road, just west of Noland. It sits on like 26 acres or something, and it's this reeeeeeally old stone mansion. The mansion itself has 6 bedrooms with fireplaces in each room. The property has stables, a guest house, and a gate house. Four years ago it sold for $2 million.

The first thing I'd do if I won the lottery is buy this house and move everyone that was important to me into the other houses. Ok, and we'd have to build a couple more, but I could handle two acres between each house.

Next, I'd invest enough money in different bonds and funds (guaranteed no-risk stuff) to make sure that my insurance and property taxes were covered on it for the next fifty years. It would really suck to have such an awesome house and lose it cause you couldn't afford the taxes.

I think I'd open a store. Scrapbooking, of course, and other hobby-stuff (ceramics, pottery, classes, etc.) with a coffee shop attached. We'd make fresh pastries every morning. I'd hire someone to manage it so I could still have time to do the fun stuff I wanted to do.

Once my store was operating in the black, I'd start thinking about buying my island - you know, where I'd retire. The only access would be by boat (there's a horror movie in the making), and I'd live in a great big two-story colonial planatation home with a HUGE kitchen surrounded by stained-glass windows. I'd grow vegetables to eat in the summer, and can in the winter. The house would be completely energy-efficient, with solar panels, rain cisterns and a windmill for power. I *might* invest in a back-up generator for emergencies.

I guess also a 6% tithe is in order here.. St. Francis, think you can pay off that debt? The Humane Society of America gets a pretty decent sized cut, and Wayside Waifs probably an even bigger cut.

And duh, this would all come AFTER my friends and family were all taken care of..

"This is Where I'm Camping"

He emails me:

"This is where I'm camping," he says.



The next email I get says, "How come no one's invented an air mattress that's attached to your tent.." or some such nonsense.

I emailed him back and said, "You have no room to complain here. You're in California, camping on the beach.." blah blah blah.

I have zero sympathy.

Into the Mystic

My friend Aaron called me today from the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. First, I am so honored that he was thinking of me while he was standing there. There is something about being on a road trip by yourself - just your own thoughts to keep you company - and realizing that you need to share something with someone. The fact that he wanted to share that moment with me - or maybe just gloat that he was there and I wasn't - is something that I will cherish.

I made him send me a picture of what he was seeing:



Just seeing the picture makes me feel small... I know, I know, how totally cliche, but think about all of the years of work it took to make the scene that's played out here. I mean really, can you feel your own immortality looking you in the face here? I certainly can.

I wish I was there with him.. I have no use for surfing school, but when he's camping in the canyon.. I would totally take that. Aaron, my love, you totally rock my gypsy soul.

Give Me Sassy..