Move Along People, Nothing to See Here
Alright, so here I sit at work again, with all these thoughts flying around in my head (remember, this is how I get myself into trouble), and I just need to get some stuff down and sort through it. It's gonna be long and boring, so if ya don't wanna know what's going on in my head, stop reading here..
So first of all, July 2nd approaches rapidly. July 2nd is significant because it's when the layoffs take affect here at my job. When I came back to work after I had Zion, I did so on the condition that I would only have to be away from home for no more than 3 days per week. There's no way around this, though - we're all stuck working five days as of July 2nd. That's five days a week that I don't tuck Zion in. That's also five days a week that I don't go to bed with my husband. We've only been married two years! We still like each other most of the time! I shouldn't be away from him five nights a week! And I'm the one that rocks Zion, and cuddles with him and reads to him before I tuck him in at night. Sure, Mike's capable, but IT'S MY JOB. I'm his mom! I *want* to be there to tuck him in at night.
So that leaves me with a decision. Do I stick it out here and deal with these things? Do I go find another full time job elsewhere? If so, do I continue to work nights? Cause if I don't work nights, I have to put Zion in daycare, which, lemme tell ya, is just not a good option for me.
Do I just go find two part-time jobs and work when I can? Should I cut out extra-curriculars (cough*scrapbooking*cough*) altogether and go back to school?
I have a hard enough time with all of this, because I'm such a grump about working anyway. I feel like my one and only job should be to take care of Mike and Zion, and HEY - that's a full-time job and a half alone. But we can't afford for me to not work AND scrapbook still. It just couldn't happen. Well, and then there's gas, electricity, the house payment...
But really, scrapbooking's the biggie there. Gotta have scraps.
I have a lot of decisions to make.
So first of all, July 2nd approaches rapidly. July 2nd is significant because it's when the layoffs take affect here at my job. When I came back to work after I had Zion, I did so on the condition that I would only have to be away from home for no more than 3 days per week. There's no way around this, though - we're all stuck working five days as of July 2nd. That's five days a week that I don't tuck Zion in. That's also five days a week that I don't go to bed with my husband. We've only been married two years! We still like each other most of the time! I shouldn't be away from him five nights a week! And I'm the one that rocks Zion, and cuddles with him and reads to him before I tuck him in at night. Sure, Mike's capable, but IT'S MY JOB. I'm his mom! I *want* to be there to tuck him in at night.
So that leaves me with a decision. Do I stick it out here and deal with these things? Do I go find another full time job elsewhere? If so, do I continue to work nights? Cause if I don't work nights, I have to put Zion in daycare, which, lemme tell ya, is just not a good option for me.
Do I just go find two part-time jobs and work when I can? Should I cut out extra-curriculars (cough*scrapbooking*cough*) altogether and go back to school?
I have a hard enough time with all of this, because I'm such a grump about working anyway. I feel like my one and only job should be to take care of Mike and Zion, and HEY - that's a full-time job and a half alone. But we can't afford for me to not work AND scrapbook still. It just couldn't happen. Well, and then there's gas, electricity, the house payment...
But really, scrapbooking's the biggie there. Gotta have scraps.
I have a lot of decisions to make.
posted by SevenHappyScrappers at 3:37 AM
5 Comments:
Sara, It's a big decision ahead of you -- and I hope you find peace (and happiness) in whatever path you choose. I wish I could find the perfect job for you, where you could be home at night to tuck Zion in and to climb in bed with Mike ... and still be there during the day to avoid day care for zion ... where you could be mom, wife, and wage earner ... but, I guess, if I found that job, I'd grab it for myself! :) Smile, you were supposed to laugh at that!
Oh Sara I feel for you! I wish I had a magic bullet that would solve it all for you, but unfourtunately this seems to be the lot in life for so many moms these days and its just not fair! I know what you mean about being "the one" its just part of who we are and not something we willingly relinquish! Best wishes to a happy solution!
I hope you don't quit scrapbooking...I can't imagine life on the forum without you. You'd have to stay away from the forum or you wouldn't be able to quit! Your work is too beautiful to quit all together, but I understand the guilt part about how expensive it is.
I'm telling you...you have a "little model" at home! heehee!
I don't think you would like any of my answers to this, cause they would all involve never buying anything again if it means getting to be home with your little boy! Maybe you should be introduced to the world of digital scrapping!
No magic bullet here either. Ultimately you have to make some kind of choice, stay there, find something else, or stay home.
None of those choices are free of sacrifice. I'll be thinking of you and if you have any ideas, feel free to run them by us.
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