Try Again
Many problems again.. this week has been extremely hard on my marriage. Just when I thought there might be a light at the end of the tunnel, my husband turned into a train.
I'm really beginning to wonder if we're going to make it. For the first time, I'm having doubts.
I have one job on this earth, in this life, and that's to be Zion's mother. I have been entrusted with this absolutely precious being - he is *my* responsibility, and I'm failing. Second to that, I am Mike's wife. I'm failing even more miserably at that.
Everything else should come after that, and I can't seem to get it right. I want to scream, "It's not just me - you're not helping matters!" But this isn't about blame, right? We're not functioning as a team right now, and if we can't do that, we'll never be able to have a successful marriage.
He called me a bitch and hung up on me tonight. Then he called back and launched into a tirade about "his son." Then he told me he was going to bed and he might see me in a few days.
Today Rhonna says, "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again.'"
I don't want to try again tomorrow. I want to crawl into a hole and cry.
I'm really beginning to wonder if we're going to make it. For the first time, I'm having doubts.
I have one job on this earth, in this life, and that's to be Zion's mother. I have been entrusted with this absolutely precious being - he is *my* responsibility, and I'm failing. Second to that, I am Mike's wife. I'm failing even more miserably at that.
Everything else should come after that, and I can't seem to get it right. I want to scream, "It's not just me - you're not helping matters!" But this isn't about blame, right? We're not functioning as a team right now, and if we can't do that, we'll never be able to have a successful marriage.
He called me a bitch and hung up on me tonight. Then he called back and launched into a tirade about "his son." Then he told me he was going to bed and he might see me in a few days.
Today Rhonna says, "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again.'"
I don't want to try again tomorrow. I want to crawl into a hole and cry.
posted by SevenHappyScrappers at 9:33 PM
4 Comments:
Oh no! You cannot give up! It IS a GOOD thing that he wants you to be around sooo much. What he is doing is the Man way of telling you that.
oh sara :( you all need a vacation together...some good family time. hope all is better soon. i think you are a great mommy & wife
Kerry's right. Men want love just like us gals. Tell him, hug him, squeeze him. Yesterday I was a real meanie 'cause JT is out of town this week, starting this morning. But, I was afraid if I let my guard down I'd be bawling all over the place. Well, turns out that probably would have been best. He thought I was going to be glad to get rid of him. So, when he discovered I was sad, he knew I cared. The first 7 years are toughest for a reason though. Maybe you can sit down together, figure out exactly how much $$$ you need to work for and if you can hang up one of your multiple hats. It is so easy for a giving person to say yes to others, but with that comes the huge danger of overextension.
My heart goes out to you. And, if it makes you feel any better, I've been called a B**** too. And, I have been hung up on before. And, I have cried my eyes out before. (But here we are ten years later ... stronger than ever!) Hugs to you.
Post a Comment
<< Home