Journaling
If you were to dig through the random mess of boxes scattered throughout our basement and shed, you would eventually find my journals that I kept when I was younger. I loved journaling. I had journals with short stories in them, diaries, records of my travels (road trips!) -- I wrote about everything.
Mike and I had been together about six months when he came upon my journal in my purse. I can't even begin to tell you what the excuse was, but he took it upon himself to open it up and read the latest entry. I won't share with you what was written in this book, but suffice it to say that it didn't make him very happy. He left. I wasn't sure he would come back. I spent four agonizing hours trying to figure out if I was upset that he might be breaking up with me, or upset that he actually had the balls to read something as personal and private to me as my journal!
Obviously, we worked out the issues that I had articulated in my ramblings, but this experience stuck with me. I remember saying to him, "I've been journaling since I knew how to read and write. You've taken that away from me. I'll never feel comfortable putting my feelings on paper again." He thought I was being melodramatic, and I felt betrayed. I haven't written in a journal since then.
Last week, I received a gift from a new friend. She couldn't have known just how special and significant this gift would be, and I don't think I could even put into words for her what a phenomenally important gesture it was. She gave me a journal. It is a beautiful journal, decorated in purples and yellows, which are my two favorite colors. It's gorgeous and inspiring, and I brought it home and put it on the dresser and left it there for a few days while I worked around it in my head.
So, I've decided that it's a sign. It's time to revisit a well-worn and much-loved pastime. This evening, I'll make my first journal entry in over three years.. I can already feel the familiar comfort of releasing my thoughts and feelings onto paper. It's funny how the things you love slip away without your even noticing, until someone comes along to remind you how wonderful they were.
Mike and I had been together about six months when he came upon my journal in my purse. I can't even begin to tell you what the excuse was, but he took it upon himself to open it up and read the latest entry. I won't share with you what was written in this book, but suffice it to say that it didn't make him very happy. He left. I wasn't sure he would come back. I spent four agonizing hours trying to figure out if I was upset that he might be breaking up with me, or upset that he actually had the balls to read something as personal and private to me as my journal!
Obviously, we worked out the issues that I had articulated in my ramblings, but this experience stuck with me. I remember saying to him, "I've been journaling since I knew how to read and write. You've taken that away from me. I'll never feel comfortable putting my feelings on paper again." He thought I was being melodramatic, and I felt betrayed. I haven't written in a journal since then.
Last week, I received a gift from a new friend. She couldn't have known just how special and significant this gift would be, and I don't think I could even put into words for her what a phenomenally important gesture it was. She gave me a journal. It is a beautiful journal, decorated in purples and yellows, which are my two favorite colors. It's gorgeous and inspiring, and I brought it home and put it on the dresser and left it there for a few days while I worked around it in my head.
So, I've decided that it's a sign. It's time to revisit a well-worn and much-loved pastime. This evening, I'll make my first journal entry in over three years.. I can already feel the familiar comfort of releasing my thoughts and feelings onto paper. It's funny how the things you love slip away without your even noticing, until someone comes along to remind you how wonderful they were.
posted by SevenHappyScrappers at 5:59 AM
1 Comments:
I buy and make a ton of journals but never use them....always afraid that someone is going to see them. Always afraid I'll look silly. Always worried what someone else will think. You've inspired me to try to get past that and actually journal. Thanks :)
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